He said because I was so young (37 years old), it was probably not cancer, so he gave me the option to do the biopsy or wait 6 months. At the time, I was running over 20 miles a week and fairly health conscious. I didn't want to believe I could have cancer. When he gave me an option to wait, I did just that.
Over the course of the 6+ months, I developed a rapidly growing mass in my breast. I decided to get another opinion from a different surgeon. The new surgeon did not give me any options but immediately insisted I get a biopsy right away, confident he could get a good sample in outpatient.
After the biopsy results came back positive, I was scheduled for a mastectomy of my left breast. They removed 10 lymph nodes, 7 of which were positive for malignancy. I consulted an oncologist who could hardly seem to look me in the eye when he said he'd "throw the kitchen sink at me" (chemo, radiation) and whatever else it took. I didn't feel sick, plus I was terrified of chemo since I don't take to drugs very well. I decided to refuse the oncologist and see a naturopathic doctor (N.D).
I started seeing the N.D. but my cancer reoccurred on my chest wall within 9 months of my surgery. It formed a small wound on the surgery site. I continued on with the N.D. for 3 more years. I felt horrible about the possibility of dying, leaving three young children in the care of my spouse. I couldn't take the guilt and ended up separating from my husband for 3 years, sharing the care of our kids 4 out of 7 nights a week. I went on a wild binge during 2 of the 3 years, which rapidly ended when my health started to deteriorate.
The reoccurrence on my chest wall had become an open wound, despite care from the N.D. I began to experience severe head pain and feverish bouts. I couldn't work, drive, or go to the store. I ordered everything on line so I wouldn't have to leave the house and had my groceries delivered. My N.D. could not do anything to help me but kept insisting that I was going through some sort of "healing crisis" and would get better, even though I was getting much worse. All the while my husband would help in any way he could, taking me to my doctors appointments and keeping an eye on me the whole time.
Finally the day came when I had him take me to the emergency room because I just didn't feel right. The ER doctor did a CT scan and we found the cancer has metastasized into my bones - throughout my skull and all over my torso. I fired my N.D., and met with a new oncologist who looked at me and said he couldn't cure me but he was sure he could put me in remission. I had a port implanted, moved back in with my husband and kids, and started chemo 2 weeks later.
After I had chemo for 6 months, the chest wound (cancer) began to heal. The chemo knocked my butt around good, it was very tough but it worked. I have been in remission since 12/2006.
Earlier this year, my turmor marker began to go up. A PET scan showed a small bone lesion on my chest, but the older lesions were improved. My doctor changed my medication from Tamoxifen, which I had been on for 3.5 years, to Armidex and Lupron. I'm still taking Zometa too, every few months.
I never thought I'd recover completely but I am now leading a full, active life with my husband and kids. I have devoted the rest of my life to serving others that are homebound, sick or somehow compromised. I don't want anyone to think that she is alone or that no one else cares. I found during my illness that there was always someone to reach out to help, even perfect strangers. They're truly are angels among us!
I don't even think about cancer much, I just go on living without much thought of it returning. I know it will one day, but for now I'm happier then ever before.
my cancer journey
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a second chance for both of us
my other sites:
"veni, sancte spiritus", photo m.fletcher
I found a lump on my left rib cage while I was lying down with my 4 year old daughter. I waited a month to see if it would go away before I went into see my doctor. I was immediately sent over to get a mammogram, then given a referral to a surgeon. I had extensive calcifications throughout my left breast. My surgeon suggested a needle biopsy but wasn't sure if he'd be able to get a good sample in outpatient.
"Cattleya Orchid and Three Hummingbirds" by Martin Johnson Heade
